I write because I have to

I fell in love with solitude twice.

Photo Credit: Girl Mogul

The first time must have been before the age of 10 – I don’t remember exactly but I know that by my teenage years, I relished being alone. It was an odd thing for a natural extrovert like me. I found myself looking for those moments where I could hear my own thoughts.

By the time I was 14, the thoughts had turned to words, words that needed to be put on a page.

Then I started writing poetry. That was it – I was head over heels with writing – and the solitude it required. The compulsion to write was at times overwhelming. Sometimes, I ignored it, deeming it a “weakness”, a flaw that made me appear soft and sensitive. This and many other things meant I stopped writing poetry. But I never really stopped writing. It manifested in letters to friends, emails and even little ‘sorry-I-missed-you-while-you-were-out’ notes. My friends thought I had a way with words.

Life is the busiest it’s ever been and solitude is rare and precious.

Photo Credit: Gotham Girl Chronicles

I have found that I can’t hear my thoughts as often as I’d like. I can’t express words as clearly as I used to. Solitude eludes me. But I still write. This time, solitude is a former lover that I never really stopped loving – one that only needs to meet my eye and I’ll come running back. So perhaps, I fell in love with solitude once. Maybe one day, he’ll come back to me, the noise will quiet down and I will hear the words coming from over my shoulder.

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