3 ways to know someone

I have maintained that I’m open to making new friends. So many people my age are not – they’re simply “not interviewing”. I understand the hesitation to let a stranger in. After all, can you ever really know someone you haven’t known all their life? Can they truly know you? The latter is perhaps more important, more daunting for many – even me. If they really knew what I’m like would they still like me?

Fortunately, there are three simple ways to truly know someone. Mind you, this is to a reasonable extent – not completely. And you need to pick up all the clues about their character. Be on the look out for the slightest indication of foul play. Here are the faithful three:

1. When they just wake up in the morning. Are they grumpy? Are they just as they would be in the middle of the day? Some people are not morning folks – I don’t mean that. Does she look completely different (e.g. No-make-up horrors)? Or does he seem ‘out of character’ e.g. Not quite as nice as the night before?

2. When they are angry. Is the anger so fierce you feel unsafe? Is the anger unpredictable and does it involve significant foul language, abuse and the likes? I don’t care how nice you are when you are NOT angry – if your anger is lethal, stay away from me.

3. When they borrow money from you. Do they disappear or act like you’ve fallen out? Do they return the money at the agreed time without making you ask? Do they make you feel awkward for asking? I find the nicest people become less trustworthy when there’s money involved. It’s sad really. One should be faithful with everything and everyone. If I lend you money and you don’t pay back, without any explanation – we’re still friends but now I know not to go into business with you.

Are there any other ways you can really know someone you just befriended?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Friendship

Friendship like the one between mothers and sons.


Weekly Photo Challenge: Today

Today, I was with a friend. I had been having a stressful few days and it was great to just talk…and even laugh about it. Today, I honour friends everywhere that stick together. You are totally fabulous!

New friendships: to be the person I have become

Most of the people I know are closest to friends they have known for years – usually from as young as age 5 to early 20s. At my age (and what age is that?), I’ve started to meet many folks who are simply not “interviewing” for new friends. That’s fair enough.

But I have discovered that making new friends, regardless of my age, can help me be the person I want to be and establish the person I have become. I’ll explain:

You might agree that sometimes, people change. They change because of their experiences or they make a personal discovery that motivates them to change. But their friends don’t acknowledge it or respect it. Changing becomes difficult or they change but nobody reinforces it or allows them “display” this change. Even to them, the change is doubtful. “Have I really changed if my friends keep treating me like I haven’t?” It’s easy to continue being that good ol’ pal who is all those things that you don’t want to be anymore.

I recently moved house, about 25 miles away from where I used to live. The little village is lovely and the people are friendly. I have found myself meeting people who I could make a new impression on because there is no prior evidence or past knowledge of me in their minds. It is an opportunity to be the person I have become at 32. I have started to feel excited about this opportunity. With my knowledge of the past and my hopes for the future, I have opened up and let people in. Yes, I have begun “interviewing”. Some of my concerns that I haven’t learned from the past or that I’m not the person I want to be has evaporated. I anticipate that this will be even more established in 2012.

Indeed, some long-time friendships may be holding us back, making us believe that we are still that “little person” who will never change. But think about it. What if you have become stronger, faster, better? What if you HAVE changed? Make a new friend today and find out for yourself.

Thanks for reading.

Chicago on my mind. And donuts.

Chicago skyline at sunrise

Chicago skyline at sunrise. Awesome!! (Image via Wikipedia)

I’m already in Chicago on my vacation/family wedding as you read this. But before I left, I put together this story I heard recently to share with you. It had some impact on me. Perhaps it may be of some meaning to you too:

A woman bought a bag of chocolate donuts while waiting for her train to leave the station. Looking around for a place to sit, she found a place next to a man reading a newspaper. He seemed to be in his 40s and was obviously engrossed in his paper. She set down her handbag and settled down to take one donut out of the bag on the table in front of her. Just as she took a bite, the man with the newspaper put his paper down and took one donut too! He didn’t even say, ‘excuse me’! She was so irritated. She continued chewing her donut and tried not to show her annoyance at the man’s rudeness.

But with every donut she took, he leaned over and took one until there was one left. How infuriating! Surely, now that there’s just one left, he will back off. Well, no. He leaned forward and picked up the last donut. He tore it in half, leaving a piece in the bag and eating the other. She was speechless. The nerve of this guy!!!

Soon after, the announcement for her train departure came and she put her things together and got on the train. She was thinking about how annoying the man had been and cursed herself for not telling him off there and then. A few minutes later, the train conductor came around to check the tickets. She opened her bag to retrieve her ticket. In her handbag, unopened and uneaten lay her bag of donuts.

I couldn’t help but wonder how many times I’ve been in a state about what I thought someone said or did when all along, THEY were accommodating ME. Hmm. Some food for thought.

I’ll be back before you know it! Ciao!! 🙂

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