I’d Rather Be Stupid

Sometimes, I have to be confrontational. I really hate doing it. Believe me, I avoid it. But there are times when not confronting someone or some thing would be injustice to yourself. You can get continuously taken for granted or the elephant in the room will live on and on and on.

I usually prefer to live with elephants while being taken for granted. I realise that others may think I’m stupid as a result. There’s just something about causing discomfort in others that bothers me. Sometimes, I even make it seem as if I’m to blame to take the edge off someone else’s shame.

Well, I’ve needed to step up and defend myself a little in recent weeks. It has been awkward for me and I’m sure those involved feel the same. The aftermath is respect even if it’s not restitution. Some people are better at this stuff, telling things as they are and feeling no guilt. Not me. I just want harmony, elephants and all.

How do you feel about confrontation? Is it a cultural thing or personality or upbringing? I sense it may be all of the above. When does no confrontation become damaging?

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Comments

  1. I try to avoid it at all costs, but if left with no choice I will engage. I try to “confront” when I’m not emotional so the exchange will be more controlled (at least on my end)

    Never an easy thing for some….

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  2. No, I don’t like confrontation, I want us all to understand and get along without discomforts of drama. What I keep having to learn, because I always fail at it, is to address things as they come and not wait until they pile up. And maybe it’s just a matter of learning how to do it diplomatically and in the best spirit. When I wait, my spirit feels vexed and I don’t feel that great about the person and I have to take responsibility for that.

    Thanks for this post. I may not have fully come to that realization and admitted my part in ‘troubled waters’ otherwise.

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  3. I too have never been confrontational. Perhaps to my detriment,on occasion, as life has gone by. Now I find some solace in knowing that not being confrontational is actually revealing of a stronger character.Choose your battles. You can’t win them all. The trick is knowing which ones to fight – that protects your true self. Our instincts are more basic than preservation of pride.

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  4. i dont like confrontations… they make me a bit iffy and when i decide to descend on people it’s like “OH NO SHE DIDN’T… i thought she was …” and i’m like no… i’m not a quiet mat to walk all over i just learnt self-control

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  5. It’s important to speak up; being a doormat never helped anyone. How we deliver it is another story as diplomacy is always better…

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