I write because I have to

I fell in love with solitude twice.

Photo Credit: Girl Mogul

The first time must have been before the age of 10 – I don’t remember exactly but I know that by my teenage years, I relished being alone. It was an odd thing for a natural extrovert like me. I found myself looking for those moments where I could hear my own thoughts.

By the time I was 14, the thoughts had turned to words, words that needed to be put on a page.

Then I started writing poetry. That was it – I was head over heels with writing – and the solitude it required. The compulsion to write was at times overwhelming. Sometimes, I ignored it, deeming it a “weakness”, a flaw that made me appear soft and sensitive. This and many other things meant I stopped writing poetry. But I never really stopped writing. It manifested in letters to friends, emails and even little ‘sorry-I-missed-you-while-you-were-out’ notes. My friends thought I had a way with words.

Life is the busiest it’s ever been and solitude is rare and precious.

Photo Credit: Gotham Girl Chronicles

I have found that I can’t hear my thoughts as often as I’d like. I can’t express words as clearly as I used to. Solitude eludes me. But I still write. This time, solitude is a former lover that I never really stopped loving – one that only needs to meet my eye and I’ll come running back. So perhaps, I fell in love with solitude once. Maybe one day, he’ll come back to me, the noise will quiet down and I will hear the words coming from over my shoulder.

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Comments

  1. Ha ha remember your poetic days:-). I think deep down I crave solitude as well because how else will you explain my day that starts at 4.30 am?? Being alone with my thoughts and a cup of tea at that time is bliss. Keep on writing dear because you do it beautifuly. I’ve been putting off any serious writing for decades so you’re an inspiration!.xx

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    • I’m trying to wake up earlier to have that solitude, even if it’s half an hour. You’re a legend for waking at 4.30am EVERY DAY. More so because you don’t have to! I want to be like you when I grow up ;-).

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  2. I would love to hear your poetry of times past. Would you post one?

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  3. ………..yeah, an old poem would be good…….. 🙂

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  4. hi KEMI,
    on the other hand writing is a tool vs. solitude … – and music too
    greetings by
    http://flickrcomments.wordpress.com/2012/01/19/lonnie-johnson-guitarist/
    frizzguitar

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  5. I fell in love with solitude….what a great way to express it. I have this natural love for time alone, and make a point to have some every day. Tonight, I drove out alone to put gas in the car…just to have a few moments alone after a busy, full, happy week-end with the family. Solitude is looking for you…let it catch your eye. 🙂

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  6. To find my solitude, when my brain has a lot going on, I usually find something that always clears my head. Believe it or not taking a shower for me does it. So I will take one, let everything go.. and peace comes to my mind and also solutions appear. Maybe its not that it’s left you.. maybe you have to go someplace where you can actually hear it… but what do I know lol.

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  7. for me I always appreciate any minute while am alone weather in my tiny flat or on the bus, train, plane and even in dreams to order my feelings and turn them into words.
    the below came to my mind last Friday night after everyone departed to their dreams and I was in my kitchen:

    In my tiny kitchen which is no bigger than confined cell in prison i cleaned a space to accomodate my glass of mateh(special drink originally came from Argentina) .. I told my dying basil how much ive missed ur eyes..she sighed in return with the smell that used to kill me…sculptur..love dies too what remains in the end is just a trace we fight to keep it visible..

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  8. The world is too much with us.And writing allows you to stand and stare, at things in general, but mor importantly at ourselves.

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Trackbacks

  1. […] last week’s post, I decided to share a little more about my past writing – thanks to Savvy […]

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