Why I have no goals in 2012

I believe the most important questions anyone can answer for themselves are: Who am I? What is my identity?

In the past 12 months, I made considerable progress in figuring this out. It was lazy to believe what my culture, family, society and friends said I was. My identity was like a collage, often marred with conflicting values and perspectives on life. But now, many things have come together. It has meant that I have gone against some of my cultural pre-dispositions and disagreed with the views of people that I respect (and I still do). It has also meant that I have severed few friendships that undermined or mocked my identity. It has not been easy but I was not going to let anyone bring me down or tell me who I am. Never again.

In 2012, I am looking out for myself and soaking in my identity. I have had years where I focussed on making educational progress, career progress and even emotional progress. These were all “targets” that gave me something to run after.
I was like a dog with a bone
.

Don’t misunderstand. Goals are great and I was tempted to draw up a list of things to do in the new year. But I know myself – goals just give me something to obsess over. So I will start 2012 without a list. A list may very well emerge later in the year but it will be one created on-the-go, a sort of look-see approach. The idea is that I don’t want to start “running” from the onset. I want to relax more and enjoy being me, sort of be the “me” this photo depicts all the time.

20111231-162847.jpg

This doesn’t mean I’ll stay home all day watching TV and eating supermarket cupcakes (and there’s nothing wrong with supermarket cupcakes). It simply means: I will be confident in my identity, easily deifying when to pursue and when to let go.

This year has been extremely rewarding. I didn’t realise it at the time but I spent a lot of my blog-time saying that I have been hard on myself and that I want to change. Well, that’s done now and I’m looking forward to having a different conversation in the coming year. I’m enthused and bursting with new ideas for the coming year. I suppose that’s what it feels like to have an identity that I can most definitely live with.

Happy new year!

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Comments

  1. Wow, Kemi, what a great blog. It sounds like you’ve met and far exceeded any goals you might have had for 2011. That kind of personal growth is hard to come by and I compliment you for it. Congratulations and may the new year be an exciting and fulfilling adventure.a

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  2. Well said babe. I agree with you, making goals is the easy part. Meeting them is another thing… I’ve enjoyed your blog over the past year and looking forward to what 2012 will bring. Happy New year in advance!

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  3. From what I know, you are an amazing woman and I can’t wait to have more conversations with you :). I wish you and your family a happy new year!

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  4. Love your non-resolution idea so much better than anything I’ve come up with!

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  5. Congrats to you on a great blog year! So glad I was able to be involved! Good luck and good health in 2012 (Great photo…u r beautiful!)

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  6. it’s creative to develop and change one’s identity, to fight for, to dream from …

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  7. Well said, Kemi. Enjoy 2012.

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  8. A great approach to the year ahead. A while ago I stopped swimming against the tide of life; choosing instead to take each new day, each new wave of experiences, challenges and rewards, as they came.

    Life became infinitely easier to cope with from that point on; life became simpler.

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  9. I have a feeling that, in the long run, your more relaxed, look-see approach will actually help you get closer to where you want to be. Taking time to think — and avoiding the need to be in constant motion — is a great idea. I’m sorry you’ve had to feel undermined and mocked, but I guess some friendships aren’t meant to be permanent. There’s definitely wisdom in your instincts; hold onto them. Happy New Year, Kemi.

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  10. You know, I had a long business career that was driven by goals. Targets by week, by month, by year. It has taken me years (literally, ‘cos I don’t think I’m really there yet) to shed the Imp that sits on my shoulder saying “Get it done. You’ll miss your deadline.” But I’m nearly there. Nearly shed that self-imposed stress. Good for you for trying whilst you are still young. Life is for living. Live it. 🙂

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