Arguably the right side of 30

Today is my 32nd birthday.

This may be the best side of 30. I’m reflecting on things I used to believe, those things I’ve changed my mind about. I’m excited to be alive but as I look at all the horrible events in the world, I feel a deep sense of sadness, and gratitude for all the blessings that I can smile about. I used to want to change the world. Seriously. I fantasized about making a difference in a conflict-stricken world. But:

  1. I know now that I can’t change anything. I can only make a very slight difference in my tiny square of the world. I’ve discovered that I’m not perfect – my most traumatic discovery to date. It also emerged that I can’t make people do things (Believe me I’ve tried). Very rarely, I change their minds but overall people make strange decisions and are shockingly irrational, most of which has remained unexplained. This brings me to my next realization on this side of 30;
  2. I’ve finally come around to the idea of not knowing. I’ve thrived on getting to the bottom of everything. I wanted to know why that friendship broke down or why that illness killed one friend and not another. Or why some prayers are answered and others seemed to be in limbo. There are many mysteries in this life but I’m now convinced that knowing everything about everything is a definite health hazard.

This is me plain and simple and somehow, aging doesn't feel so bad...

I hope the coming years lead to more discoveries. In the grand scheme of things, I’ve lived about a third of my life so it’ll pay me to be equipped for the rest of my life in order to conquer what’s in store. I don’t want to question and doubt who I am like I have in the past. I’m blessed with an extremely supportive network of family and friends. I thank them for letting me be myself all these years while still encouraging me to grow. I thank my readers who by simply showing up have affirmed my position that I may have one or two interesting things to say. God bless you all.

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Comments

  1. Happy birthday dear. I totally agree on being on the better side of 30!

    • I had a fantastic day with you yesterday. And now that we’re the ‘right’ side, I predict many more of such days. Love you, BFF ;)!

  2. Your smart for having learned in 30 years what most people don’t learn in their entire life!
    Happy Birthday! It only gets better from here!

    • I believe that, Sister- it’ll get better. There’ll be some mistakes no doubt but I promise to be more forgiving of myself…. Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Hahaaaaa! Many happy returns of the day! Hope you have a wonderful year ahead! :-)

  4. Happy birthday.. Do I sense a more pragmatic worldview developing this side of thirty? Have a fabulous next year!

  5. Happy Birthday to you!
    (sung as Stevie Wonder did…)

  6. …thank them for letting me be myself all these years while still encouraging me to grow: be very glad about that!

  7. Happy Birthday! To +side of 30 is definitely the place to be; where you all of a sudden have a greater appreciation for what actually matters in life, not what you thought was important.

  8. Lauren Bastable says:

    Happy Birthday Kemi, you are truly beautiful. Love Lauren xx

  9. Happy birthday! I certainly would never go back to my 20’s — even for tons of $$, so am in agreement that you are on the better side of 30.

    You’ve made some important discoveries. Being perfect isn’t possible, and trying to be perfect just wears you down. It’s wonderful to have standards and to make goals to be the best you can be, but dropping “perfect” from your vocabulary will make you a kinder, gentler person and will ensure your relationship with self and others is easier on everyone.

    You’re right, you can’t change people’s minds. It doesn’t work. However, oddly enough, you can change your own mind. I find my set-in-stone opinions of yore continue to evolve and change and I age. Flexibility is important!

    Not knowing was as tough one for me. I too always wanted to know “why” everything happened. I prided myself on digging to the bottom of a situation in order to understand it. And guess what? Knowing why never changed a thing! It was still the way it was. As I got older I realized I only *thought* I knew why! So very annoying. So I’ve let go of that one, too. Not as early as you, but hey, at least I realized I can’t/won’t ever really know why, so why put all that time and energy into it? Good for you that you got that lesson, as well.

    If you’re this wise at 32, perhaps you’ll end up being a wise old woman. I’m 20 years ahead of you and I haven’t got there yet, but am hopeful by the time I’m 80 that title will feel right. I think you’ll be getting there quicker than me.

    Enjoy your 30’s. I think you’ll feel even better when you hit 40!

    • Thanks for your insight, Julee. I’m definitely looking forward to ageing so the thought of being 40 in the not-so-distant future is exciting. Am I strange? Look you, I cannot be paid enough to be in my 20s again!!! Too much stabbing in the dark and mental/emotional questioning like ‘Am I just a bad person???’

  10. Congratulations on your 32nd trip around the sun.

  11. Happy Birthday for yesterday. Changing and evolving as a person never stops. I too used to think I could change the world. Realising that you have to settle for your own little corner is very frustrating. As I grow/grew older what I really wanted was wisdom – like some sort of tribal elder – it’s an objective of sorts – but it’s emotions that keep us vital. Always feel and try to forget the numbers :)

    • Thanks, SMM! Yeah, a wise book once said,’Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom…’. Thanks for stopping by :)!

  12. Happy birthday. Hope you had a good one yesterday and more beautiful things ahead of you.

  13. lovelikeafountain says:

    I’m not exactly sure why, but this warmed my heart! I appreciate you passing on your wisdom, and for your delightfully honest posts that I look forward to reading. May God continue to bless you, my internet friend. :)

  14. Happy Birthday! I remember when I turned 30, I felt as if everyone in the world suddenly became younger. People in their 20s seemed like kids to me and people in their 60s seemed more middle aged than old. It was a big change in perspective at that point in my life, so I understand your thoughts!

  15. Haaaaapy b/day, wise one…. Hip! Hip!! Hip!!! Hooooray!

  16. Love the age you’re living, right? You go, girl!

  17. I’m aged x2! (me>64)

Trackbacks

  1. […] stabbing in the dark and wrestling….mostly with myself, made for an exhausting era. In my post, ‘Arguably the right side of 30’, I expressed my relief at changing a few of my long-held […]

  2. […] lot has changed and my take on life is more relaxed and less severe. This is thanks to growing up (being on the right side of 30) and taking myself less seriously. You can therefore be rest assured that even if I fall short of […]

  3. […] Posts I’m most proud of . . . (1) Arguably the right side of 30 & (2) The luxury of being […]

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